Returning: A Question That Arises

 

It has now been just over two years since I stepped away from attending Catholic mass or any participation in the life of my local faith community. At the time of my departure, I made this choice in order that I might seek after clarity and gain perspective about who I am in relation to God and others. Being the "franchise" player for my Catholic faith, I would have never imagined ever contemplating (let along doing) this early on and yet I heartfully attest that Divine Love has been creating a wider container in me; one that kept me from feeling the comfort and offering the assurance of pressing my hands to each side of my previous faith container in order to know where I was at all times. Sound as if I'm adrift?

Indeed no. While it is true that I am unmoored from the regular hold of being connected to the faith of my life's imprinting up to a few years ago, I am in a rather intriguing place of spiritual curiosity, openness and questioning. My choice has thus required an even more rigorous concern for how I am now journeying as a spiritual being. At the same time, there is a blessed expansiveness of spiritual permission for seeing all that I want to see! Just as astrophysicists tell us that the entirety of the universe is expanding, my own spirit is being widened and pulled outwards toward a fuller desire to know this God who is impelling me from within to jettison outwards with faith that firmly proclaims that I will ever remain held by Divine Love. 

In doing all of this, I found that I was not alone. One particular traveler, poet and mystic from the 13th century named Muhyiddin Ibn Arabi boldly set his sails to allow passage beyond (perhaps within?) the strictures and structures of his beloved Sufi Islamic faith. I heard one of his poems a few years ago and knew I had found a kindred soul! In his poem, My Heart Wears All Forms, I relish how he gives ascent to these exciting winds:

My heart wears all forms:

For gazelles it is an open field,
for monks a cloister.

        It is a temple for idols,
        and for pilgrims the Ka'ba.

              It is the Torah's tablets
              and the pages of the Quran.

Love is the faith I follow.

Whichever path Love's caravan takes,
     that is my road and my religion.

English version by Ivan M. Granger - Original Language Arabic

Mindful of the need to assuage the fears of my concerned readers whose sensibilities might be disturbed by such permissive sentiments, let's go back to the image of the containers that are like those fun multi-colored stacky cups that a toddler plays with. My beautiful and precious Catholic Christianity is lovingly ensconced within this new, widened container that Divine Love is fashioning - as if I had any control of this! As such, I do not fear the widening that is occurring in my life right now and firmly trust that all the good that I've known in terms of that Catholic Christian faith will never be lost or even removed. 

Thank you for reading this far because there's no way I could help you to understand the present question that periodically arises about returning to the particularity of my local and parochial faith expression. Alas, it turns out that I've written enough for now and will have to return to the question at hand later. Until that time, I will return to Love's caravan with the beautiful assortment of fellow travelers whose hands also reach out for what is hoped to be their own new containers to abide within.

[Photo credit: Bachmont]