The Path of Dissent: Part 1
This experience came to mind as I reflected back on my decision to attend the episcopal installation of Mary Keldermans on September 4, 2021. She had been ordained a priest in May of 2014 as part of woman Catholic Womanpriests-USA. Just prior to this event several years ago, Bishop Thomas J. Paprocki made his disapproval known publicly by issuing the Decree Declaring the Excommunication Incurred Latae Sententiae By Mary F. Keldermans. He went on to actually publish a press release from the Diocese' Office of Communication stating that, "Those who knowingly and intentionally participate in these schismatic activities also incur automatic excommunication in accord with canons 751 and 1364, with due regard for canons 1321-1324 of the Code of Canon Law. By attending and actively participating in this ordination (including the reception of the eucharist during mass), it appears that Sherry and I have incurred automatic excommunication from the Catholic Church.
At this point, I need to say that my reasons here are specifically written for those who truly value their identity and participation in the Catholic faith. These may wonder why I participated, clearly knowing the notorious consequences decreed by our bishop. Allow me then to say a bit more about my own formation of conscience which is actually at the core of this story and something I will speak of more intently later on. Growing up, there was an egalitarian respect demonstrated by my parents who lived out the sacrament of marriage as equals, even though their personalities were in accord with traditional gender norms for how men and women operated in our culture. Dad was the dominant partner, but when things reached a point of conflict in their marriage, the outcomes would go just as much in mom's direction as his.
Second, I grew up in a lively parish community where the roles of women were celebrated, as many shared their gifts even amidst the limitations within Catholicism. Women served as readers, eucharistic ministers, directors of religious education and as vested members on the parish councils. Even so, I held a rather conventional viewpoint on the question of the non-ordination of women and held to the church's teaching; even feeling great umbrage when watching a newscast of a woman from the Church of England in 1994 who had been ordained. I mostly carried those views with me into my graduate studies at the Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis when I began in January of 2006, just as I began my work as Director of Christian Formation at St. Jude, my home parish in Rochester.
Fr. Tom Esselman taught my Introduction to Theology course and urged us to pick a topic that would challenge us in terms of research and reflection. I recall feeling a strong desire to delve deeply into the reasons that Pope Paul VI (Inter Insigniores , 1976) and Pope John Paul II (Ordinatio Sacerdotalis, 1994) insisted that is was not possible to even consider the question of ever seeing a woman ordained. I threw myself into this project and vividly recall emerging with a sense of dissatisfaction about the rationale offered here by these two popes and the theologians who argued for their position. I grew to respect another primal reality in theology; that one's freedom of moral conscience was utterly essential and never to be overridden even by the church. Dutifully forming my conscience on this subject was one that I realized was imperative if I were to arrive at a clear sense of what my conscience was calling me to follow. I can't underscore enough that I took this responsibility seriously and have since reflected upon it to an considerable degree.
During my time at Aquinas, a world-class preaching institute to be sure, all students who took classes on preaching lived-into the great Dominican identity of serving the church as the Order of Preachers. I remember how utterly impressed I was when I would hear the women preach during mid-day prayers. I also grew to greatly respect my female classmates as they read their papers, participated in class and manifested the reality that they too had the charisms of preaching, leading, teaching and shepherding. Despite my earlier bent away from the possibility of accepting a woman as an ordained leader in the church, I could not un-hear, un-see nor un-feel the role that women were now inhabiting inside the church with tremendous skill, vocation and devotion.
In recent years, a growing sense of incongruity was developing in my spirit given that the hearts of the patriarchy of the church remain closed to such a possibility, including an early statement by the progressive Pope Francis in 2016. I sought to remain a faithful son of the church by seeking after change from within the walls of the institution until I began to see our bishop removing competent women from leadership posts and replacing them with priests, even as a diminishing number of priests were buckling under the stress of having to cover so many bases to assure that the bishop held control.
At that time, I left parish ministry in order to begin work for a women's religious community; the Hospital Sisters of St. Francis in Springfield. Even as an aging community, they still demonstrated a powerful understanding of how to lead and administer the vast Hospital System Health Care that had grown larger since first arriving in the United States in 1875 with nothing but a few bags in hand and a mountain of determination in their hearts. I was able to witness the myriad of ways they served as healthcare leaders while setting a respectful and effective tone for how the motherhouse functioned for its 60-something sisters, over 200 Associate members and a staff of 120 people. I found it quite enlivening to be working in such close proximity to these dynamic leaders and seeing the many fruits of their efforts.
The clincher for me in helping me secure the stance of my conscience was seeing how the Leadership Conference of Catholic Women processed through their antagonistic investigation by Pope Benedict XVI's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (2009-2015) with an astounding magnanimity and judicious aplomb. To their credit, they published the reflective work of this process in the book, However Long the Night that would serve any institution or government well if seeking an optimal path for how to lead in these complex times and in accord with the dignity of even one's adversaries.
As I worked for these amazing women at the Motherhouse through their sponsored ministry of the Chiara Center, I had the privilege of inviting (and listening to) amazing women such as Franciscan scholars and speakers Mary Beth Imler and Kathleen Warren whose research and writing on the likes of Clare of Assisi revealed an intrepid woman who labored over 40 years and four papacies in order to issue her own rule to guide a women's religious community. Warren confidently asserted that the one word that could best characterize the presence and spiritual initiative of both Francis and Clare was the word newness. Though I dearly loved the privilege of working for the Hospital Sisters, I found myself longing for the day when I would be free of all obligations that would require that I should censor my conscience for the sake of their ability to maintain good relations with the local diocesan church. That day came like a thief in the night on my final day of March 31, 2021 as the Chiara Center finally closed in accord with the sisters need to sell the entirety of the Motherhouse so as to finish the final chapters of their collective story with hope and the requisite stability that an aging community needed and deserved.
Earlier this summer, Mary Keldermans contacted me to ask if I might gather up the singers and musicians to help her offer a vibrant musical celebration for her episcopal installation given her election by her community of women priests. While I did have to turn her down for lack of ability, I kept thinking about this event. Over the past several years, I had thought about visiting her church known as Holy Family Inclusive Community in Springfield but knew that going would bring trouble in the form of unwanted attention of the bishop along with his vowed sanctions. As the ordination neared, I descended into some deep discernment that was pained and hopeful at the same time. I found myself seeking the counsel of trusted companions and noticed myself trying to give myself permission to go to this event. As the days of that week went on, it became apparent that I needed to attend - not because I felt led to join a new faith community but in respect to a necessary congruity of spirit within. Yes, the divide between what I believed about women as competent and called ordained members of the Catholic Church and the fearful threats made by the bishop were growing far too dissonant for my spiritual well-being and integrity as a baptized person.
Ultimately, I realized I was forming my "No!" in terms of what I could no longer bear as a baptized member of the church. I found peace and surety in knowing that my motivations were about addressing both the ills of the present church culture while at the same time seeking a truer and more life-giving ecclesiology for a growing and re-vitalized church in the modern world. The attestations to the leadership of women in the nascent church from the gospels and the Pauline letters are simply too compelling to ignore and discard any longer. The church itself fully acknowledges the importance of noting the contribution of cultural shifts that contribute to an emerging Sensus Fidelum or sense of the entire people of God who collectively know the direction the Holy Spirit is taking.
Now where to go...
It is true that many working for the church truly offer good service from within her direct confines. To you, I ask that you carefully consider how you might examine your own conscience and respond to this question in accord with your identity as a member who fully practices your faith. I do understand that remaining within the church's good graces may still remain within your calling so that you might best serve God's people. At the same time, I am aware of a growing spiritual diaspora of the faithful; some of who may still abide within church structures but who emotionally or spiritually have already left the church to some degree. Perhaps these are still within the realm of church membership and yet find themselves camped on the margins because of some degree of dissatisfaction with the growing powers of exclusivity that have gripped so many fearful members of both the church leadership and within the laity.
I humbly acknowledge that I have incurred official excommunication from the church through our bishop's edict and offer it up to you dear reader as the means of more stridently accepting and acting upon your own growing sensibilities about how you believe that the Church of Jesus Christ is to be among all humans at this time in history. If you follow along with our bishop, please know that this matter of the inclusivity of women in church leadership is one that a great many within the church identify as an essential question despite previous attempts to suppress discussion - one that people such as myself are willing to hold so much as to lose my dearly held and officialconnections to the church. With this act of witness, know that my earnest attempt was to speak honestly about my dissent rather than silently fade away from the being a member as so many have done in great number. To all of you who love the church, I honor your journey and value the gift of your own witness. I'll close this with an important question that I hope all would answer before this story of mine fades into the ether of the ever-changing news cycle: To what extent am I living in congruency and maintaining integrity with my own conscience and offering a Christlike response in terms of how the church is to be in the world? May God bless us all and enliven the church as witness in this world.
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